Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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