He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
