haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
