those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
