the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
