This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
