omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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