I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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