Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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