I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
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