totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
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