Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
