I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize