thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
