I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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