Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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