ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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