i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
