Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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