Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I just want nice things and good sex
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
