remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
