Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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