Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
