You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize
