Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize