The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Please don't give away my fajitas
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
