You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Randomize
