Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
