We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
