In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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