So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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