Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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