Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize