Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
