I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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