I feel like I'm in dance class right now
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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