I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Randomize
