I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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