It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
