he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
