His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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