Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
