I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
