I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Randomize