Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
