What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
