I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
