youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
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