So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
You pole danced in your parka.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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