R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
