I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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