At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
