Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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