I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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