is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Couch. On fire.
tell me about the eggs
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize