Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
