how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
