its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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