She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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