You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
