i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
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