Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
