i permit you to call me
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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