So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
