How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
there is glitter all over my balls
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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