we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
