Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
