What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Little spoons don't ask big questions
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
