But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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