This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
