it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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