Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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