I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
