Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
