You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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