You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
