is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
