I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
