Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize