I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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