His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
