try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
