Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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