Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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