Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
the gays at disneyland are vicious
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I would fuck him just for his dog
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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