hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
He passed out mid-signature
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
