I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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