Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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