THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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